You Are Allowed to Take Up Space
For many of us, somewhere along the way, we learned to make ourselves smaller. We were taught — directly or subtly — to lower our voices, to soften our opinions, and to take up less room in conversations, relationships, or even physical spaces. Over time, we absorbed messages that told us who we should or shouldn’t be. Maybe we were told we were “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “too much.” Or perhaps we simply learned that being quiet, agreeable, and invisible made life feel safer.
However, here’s the truth that so many of us forget: you are allowed to take up space.
Your voice, your feelings, your presence, and your needs — they matter. In fact, you are not here to disappear or apologize for existing. Instead, you are here to be real, to express yourself, to connect, and to live fully.
At Joy Spring Mental Health, we believe that taking up space is not about being loud or demanding attention. Rather, it’s about recognizing your inherent worth — the kind that doesn’t need to be earned. Ultimately, it’s about giving yourself permission to exist as you are, without shrinking to fit the comfort or expectations of others.
The Conditioning to Shrink
Most of us don’t start out afraid to take up space. As children, we laughed freely, expressed our emotions openly, and believed the world had room for us. However, over time, many of us were conditioned to dim our light — often in ways that seemed small at first.
For example, maybe we were told to stop crying because it made others uncomfortable, or perhaps we were rewarded for being agreeable rather than honest. Little by little, we learned that being “good” meant being quiet, accommodating, and selfless.
As these moments added up, those messages began to shape how we saw ourselves. They taught us that to belong, we must minimize ourselves — physically, emotionally, or energetically. Eventually, we learned to say “I’m fine” when we’re not, to laugh off discomfort, and to apologize for taking up time or space.
Over the years, this self-shrinking becomes second nature. We start doubting our own needs, silencing our emotions, or feeling guilty for wanting more. In doing so, we forget that we are not a burden; we are a person with a right to exist fully.
Reflective question:
When did you first learn that it might be “safer” to stay small?
What It Means to Take Up Space
Taking up space doesn’t mean taking away space from others. It’s not arrogance, selfishness, or domination — it’s authentic presence.
To take up space means to let yourself be seen and heard without apology. It’s showing up to your life as you are — your thoughts, your feelings, your needs, your voice. It’s trusting that you deserve to occupy your relationships, your career, your community, and your own skin with confidence.
Taking up space might look like saying “no” when you’re overwhelmed. It might look like expressing your opinion in a meeting, or admitting when you’re hurting and it can mean crying when you’re sad, laughing loudly when you’re happy, or asking for help when you’re struggling. It can also mean setting boundaries — not because you want to push people away, but because you respect yourself enough to protect your peace.
Taking up space is an act of self-acceptance. It’s saying, “I matter, just as I am.”
Sometimes taking up space looks like stillness — a quiet decision not to rush, not to apologize, not to shrink your needs to make others comfortable. Sometimes it’s choosing to rest instead of overperforming. Every act of self-honoring, no matter how small, is a step toward reclaiming your space in the world.
The Link Between Shrinking and Mental Health
The habit of shrinking yourself often takes a quiet toll on your mental health. When you constantly minimize your needs or silence your feelings, you disconnect from your authentic self. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, burnout, or depression — a deep sense of emptiness that comes from living small.
In therapy, we often see this pattern: people who appear high-functioning, kind, and capable, yet feel invisible and emotionally exhausted inside. They’re used to being the peacekeepers, the caretakers, the reliable ones. But beneath the surface, they carry unspoken resentment and loneliness because their own needs have gone unheard for too long.
Healing begins when we start to unlearn this pattern — when we realize that it’s not selfish to take up space. It’s necessary. You cannot care for others in a sustainable way if you’re constantly erasing yourself. You cannot live authentically while pretending your voice doesn’t matter.
At Joy Spring, we often remind clients: your peace doesn’t require your disappearance.
The Emotional Roots of Self-Shrinking
Shrinking ourselves often starts with fear — fear of rejection, judgment, or conflict. We convince ourselves that being small keeps us safe.
If you grew up in an environment where emotional expression wasn’t encouraged, or where love felt conditional, you may have learned to suppress your needs to maintain harmony. You might have absorbed the belief that your worth depends on pleasing others or staying “easygoing.”
But every time you silence yourself to avoid discomfort, you send your mind a quiet message: my feelings don’t matter. Over time, that message becomes internalized. You start believing it’s true.
Therapy helps you identify and heal those early messages. Through self-awareness and compassionate reflection, you begin to rewrite your inner dialogue — to remind yourself that it’s safe to speak, to feel, and to exist fully. Healing doesn’t mean you stop caring about others’ feelings; it means you start including your own in the equation.
Try this:
Next time you feel yourself holding back, pause and ask, “What am I afraid will happen if I take up space right now?” Naming the fear often helps release its grip.
How Taking Up Space Promotes Emotional Healing
When you give yourself permission to take up space, something shifts internally. Your nervous system begins to relax. Your mind starts trusting that it’s safe to express emotions, safe to be visible, safe to exist authentically.
Taking up space promotes healing in three profound ways:
- It restores balance. You stop living for external validation and start listening to your inner voice. This helps you align your life with your true values instead of others’ expectations.
- It builds self-trust. Each time you speak your truth, set a boundary, or share your emotions honestly, you reinforce the belief that your needs are valid. Over time, your confidence grows — not from perfection, but from authenticity.
- It fosters connection. When you show up as your real self, you invite others to do the same. Vulnerability creates deeper, more honest relationships — the kind that feel nourishing, not draining.
In other words, taking up space heals the very parts of you that once believed you had to stay small.
Reclaiming Space After Trauma
For many, trauma plays a role in the instinct to shrink. Experiences of emotional neglect, criticism, or abuse can leave a lasting imprint that tells us it’s safer to stay unseen. We might associate visibility with danger — because, at some point, it was.
Reclaiming space after trauma takes time. It requires gentle, patient work with your nervous system. It might begin with noticing where your body tenses when you speak your truth, or where you instinctively hold your breath. It’s about slowly teaching yourself that safety can coexist with visibility.
Healing from trauma doesn’t mean you need to rush into boldness. Sometimes, taking up space looks like saying your needs out loud in therapy for the first time. and sometimes it’s making eye contact again. Sometimes it’s choosing to stop apologizing for simply existing in the room.
These are sacred, powerful steps. Every time you allow yourself to take up just a little more space, you rewrite the story that told you you had to disappear to survive.
The Fear of Being “Too Much”
Many people hesitate to take up space because they fear being “too much.” Too emotional, too loud, too intense, too different. But what if “too much” is just another way of saying “fully human”?
Your sensitivity, your passion, your truth — these are not flaws to hide; they are parts of what make you whole. You don’t have to dilute your personality to be lovable. The right people will not be overwhelmed by your fullness; they’ll be drawn to it.
The fear of being “too much” is often a reflection of how others have responded to your authenticity in the past — not evidence that you actually are. Therapy can help you separate those old experiences from your current reality, so you can begin to express yourself without the weight of shame.
Remember: being “too much” for someone doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It simply means you’re not meant to fit into every space — and that’s okay.
Boundaries: The Foundation of Healthy Space
Taking up space isn’t just about speaking louder or asserting yourself — it’s also about knowing where your boundaries lie. Boundaries protect your emotional space so you can exist freely without being consumed by others’ expectations.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re pushing people away; it means you’re making room for healthier connections. It’s saying, “This is where I end and you begin.” It’s an act of self-respect, not selfishness.
When you learn to set boundaries, you also teach others how to treat you. You create space for mutual respect — where both people can show up authentically without losing themselves. That’s how real, sustainable connection grows.
A gentle reminder:
You don’t need to justify your boundaries. A simple “That doesn’t work for me” is enough. Your comfort is reason enough.
Taking Up Emotional, Physical, and Social Space
You deserve to take up emotional space — to feel deeply, to express openly, to grieve, to celebrate, to exist fully in the spectrum of your emotions.
For many, emotions were treated as inconveniences growing up — something to hide or control. But your emotions are not weaknesses; they are data. They tell you what matters, what hurts, what needs care.
Taking up emotional space means giving yourself permission to feel without shame. It means saying, “I’m sad” instead of “I’m fine.” It means allowing yourself to cry, to rest, to be quiet when needed — or to speak passionately when moved.
At Joy Spring, we remind our clients that emotions are not problems to fix; they are waves to ride. You don’t have to drown in them — but you also don’t have to pretend they don’t exist.
There’s a quiet symbolism, too, in how we physically occupy space. How often have you crossed your arms, tucked your legs, or avoided standing out because you didn’t want to be noticed? Our bodies often mirror how safe we feel to exist.
Taking up physical space can be as simple as sitting tall, uncrossing your arms, walking confidently, or choosing clothes that make you feel strong and comfortable. Socially, it might look like participating more in conversations, contributing your ideas, or allowing yourself to be visible in your community or workplace.
Every time you choose to be seen, you reclaim a little piece of yourself.
Taking Up Space in Relationships
Healthy relationships thrive when both people can take up space — when both voices, needs, and emotions are valued.
If you find yourself constantly accommodating others, it’s important to ask: Do I feel emotionally safe here? True connection doesn’t require you to shrink. You deserve relationships where you can speak honestly, disagree respectfully, and still feel loved.
Taking up space in relationships also means expressing needs clearly. Instead of hinting or hoping others will guess what you want, you can communicate openly. That’s not demanding — it’s honest. And honesty builds intimacy.
The people who truly love you don’t need you to be smaller. They want you to be real.
Therapy as a Space for Expansion
Therapy is often the first safe space where people learn what it feels like to take up space. It’s a place where your story, your emotions, and your voice matter — fully and without judgment.
At Joy Spring Mental Health, we see therapy as a process of expansion. In the beginning, many clients feel hesitant to open up. But session by session, they begin to occupy more space — emotionally, mentally, even physically. Their posture changes. and tone strengthens. Their self-trust grows.
In therapy, you learn that it’s okay to express anger, grief, joy, confusion — all of it. You learn that your story has value, even if it’s messy or unfinished. You realize you don’t have to be “fixed” to deserve compassion; you just have to be human.
Therapy becomes a rehearsal for real life — a place where you practice showing up as yourself, and where that self is met with warmth, curiosity, and acceptance.
Taking Up Space in the World
Beyond personal relationships, taking up space means allowing yourself to participate fully in the world. It’s pursuing your goals, sharing your creativity, standing up for what you believe in, and trusting that your contribution matters.
You have gifts, insights, and perspectives that no one else has. When you hide them, the world loses something irreplaceable.
Taking up space in the world doesn’t always look bold — sometimes it’s quiet but powerful: choosing authenticity over conformity, self-acceptance over perfection, peace over performance.
Every act of authenticity — every moment you show up as yourself — is a ripple that gives others permission to do the same. That’s how collective healing begins.
Healing the Guilt of Being Visible
For those who’ve spent years minimizing themselves, visibility can bring guilt. You might worry about being selfish, attention-seeking, or “too much.” But taking up space is not a rejection of humility — it’s a reclamation of wholeness.
Guilt often shows up because our minds confuse visibility with vanity. But there’s a difference. Vanity demands attention; visibility honors truth.
Healing means recognizing that your light doesn’t diminish others — it expands what’s possible for everyone. When you take up space with kindness, you inspire others to do the same. The world becomes a little more open, a little more compassionate, because you allowed yourself to be real.
A Gentle Reminder from Joy Spring Mental Health
You don’t have to earn your right to exist. and you don’t need to apologize for your emotions, your voice, your dreams, or your presence. You deserve to take up space — not because you’ve proven yourself, but because you are human.
Every time you silence your truth, the world loses something beautiful. And every time you speak up, express a feeling, or show up authentically, you bring healing — to yourself and others.
You are not a burden nor not too much. You’re not taking away from anyone by being who you are. You belong here, exactly as you are.
At Joy Spring Mental Health, we believe that taking up space is one of the bravest acts of healing — and one of the kindest gifts you can give yourself.
Conclusion: There Is Room for You
You are allowed to take up space — not just in words or presence, but in every part of your life. You are allowed to exist fully — to love, to speak, to feel, to create, to rest.
Taking up space isn’t about ego; it’s about truth. It’s about embracing the fullness of who you are — your imperfections, your growth, your emotions, and your worth.
So today, stand tall. Breathe deeply. Speak honestly. Let yourself be seen.
The world has space for you — and it’s better because you’re in it.